Fettucine Alfredo

Continuing with the theme of not-real recipes, this is how I make fettucine alfredo, more or less embarrassingly jacked from Everyday Italian. Obviously, the amount of fat is massive, so you probably shouldn't eat it very often. Fresh pasta is incredibly important, be it homemade or store-bought. Also, you are not allowed to substitute cheese in this recipe. Parsley is optional and likely discouraged by purists. There is no reason to use half-and-half; all this means is longer time evaporating the liquid out of the sauce. If you want less fat, make less sauce, but I question what you are doing making alfredo and trying to limit fat at all.

1 pound fresh fettucine (recipes follow)
1 stick butter
1 cup heavy cream
nutmeg to taste
pepper to taste
1 cup (at least!) grated parmigiano reggiano
zest of 1 lemon
juice of half lemon
salt to taste
parsley to garnish

1) Make pasta (recipes follow). Boil and salt pasta water. Put butter and cream into large skillet on medium-low. Do not brown the butter! Do not add stupid junk like garlic!

2) Whisk butter and cream togther and continue periodic whisking so the sauce doesn't curdle. Bubbles are bad, steam is good. Add some nutmeg and black pepper; this will taste how it smells, if you want to do things to taste. Add cheese and zest, check for salt now because the cheese was salty.

3) When water reaches boil, add uncooked pasta. Spin it around the pot once or twice. Add zest to alfredo sauce. Remove pasta after about 90 seconds - before it reaches al dente, and add to sauce. Mix pasta with sauce with a fork, tongs, whatever. Add lemon juice, chopped parsley if desired, and mix again.

4) Plating: Dump on a plate with yet more cheese and pepper. A pretty presentation would be to wind it around a fork and then slide this relatively ordered pasta onto the plate. Add parsley on the sides, cheese on top.
Drink: Fat coats the tongue and makes it hard to taste wines. So nothing expensive! Chianti or zinfandel would be good, chianti probably better. I could also see something like a pinot noir with lots of berries performing well. If you don't like tannins, this is a chance to drink a tannin-heavy wine and avoid the tannins.


Pasta (note: this pasta isn't super-suitable for stuffed pasta. you should use Thomas Keller's recipe for that. Link.)

Two eggs per cup of flour. 1 pound of pasta is probably 2 cups of flour, but I don't really know.

Whisk flours together, if combining. Make a mound of flour with a volcano hole and crack eggs into said crevasse. Break the egg yolks with fingers and mix eggs together, during which time some of the volcano will start to get mixed in with the eggs, forming a slurry. Gradually incorporate the whole mountain, and knead until the dough comes together and is smooth. Cover with a damp towel or wrap. Let rest for 30 minutes. Then send it through your pasta maker (penultimate settings is usually good for your final thickness).